Movies People Love...But I Hate!!!!

Do you ever hear someone rave about a movie that you thought was just stupid?  I run across this a lot.  While I like a lot of things that I watch - I can find something redeeming in almost everything - there are some movies that I just can't stand.  Yet, there are people who think I'm nuts for that.  Well, you say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.

In no specific order, I present to you....

1.  The Matrix.  I hate this movie.  I hate everything about this movie.  I think at one point I was entertained by it, but the payoff was seriously lacking.  I don't believe for one second that someone would choose a world of goo and shit because it's real, instead of what we know as reality, which was fake.  I call bullshit.  Forever.

2.  Forrest Gump.  Oh good lord.  Possibly the cheesiest movie ever made.  An Oscar for Tom Hanks?  REALLY???  I mean, yeah, he was good, but there should be a rule against winning an acting award for a big fat piece of crap movie.

3.  The English Patient.  Boring, boring, boring.  Ralph Fiennes is amazing to look at and sexy as hell, but even he couldn't make me give two shits about what happened in this movie.  I want those almost 3 hours of my life back, please.

4.  The Lord of the Rings Trilogy:  Please, scrape off my retinas, because I don't ever want to watch these movies again.  I love my son, I do, but even my love for him will not allow me a second viewing of these epic pieces of shit.  The end.

5.  Avatar:  Ok, I admit, I haven't seen this movie.  Does that make me a bad person to just hate it on principle?  Probably.  I think it annoys my husband to no end that I won't give it a chance, but I don't care.  I don't ever want to hear another word about this stupid-ass, overpriced, self-serving James Cameron turd.  I'm pretty sure that every single shot in this film gave Cameron a boner, thinking that he's the greatest filmmaker in the world.  I refuse to aid in his sexual pleasure.

6.  Colors:  I finally watched this movie (you know, the one with Sean Penn and Robert Duvall?) several years ago and I couldn't stop laughing.  It's not a comedy.  Enough said.

7.  Magnolia:  This movie makes me so angry that I might possibly punch a kitten.  What a perfect example of "um, I can't think of an ending, so I'm going to make up some stupid shit" - Did the writer really think that people would think he was deep or something?  I'm getting pissed off even talking about this.  I have to stop before I break my laptop.

8.  Annie Hall:  Didn't laugh once.  This one IS a comedy.  Woody Allen is not funny.  In fact, he's creepy, and was even before he married his step-daughter.

9.   Star Wars, episodes I, II, and III:  The only reason to watch these is so you know what's going on when you play Lego Star Wars 2.

10.  Casablanca:  I actually started reading a book halfway through this movie.  Why on earth does everyone love it?  Because it had a sad ending and they weren't used to that?  Big deal.  I'd rather watch The Weather Channel.